Videos

Jack’s Asperger’s Talk

I couldn’t be more proud of my 11 year old son Jack. He addressed his class today and explained to them that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. He hopes that he will be more accepted and they will understand him better with this talk. He is a very brave boy. He does say “sixth grade” at the start and he meant “second grade” but he did awesome. I love him very much.

Here is what he said:
Hi. I’m Jack Lebersfeld. I have been in school with most of you since the 2nd grade. I am, for the most part just like you, but in some ways I am different. I have Asperger’s syndrome, also known as autism spectrum disorder or AS for short. AS is not a disease. You can’t catch it. It is not something that can be cured. It is a condition that I have and will always have. It means my brain is a little different than yours. I see the world in a slightly different way than you do. This difference has given me some great strengths, but also some big challenges. There are many characteristics of AS and I am going to share with you some of mine. I am doing this today so that I may become more understandable to you and maybe you can be more understandable to me.

The most common difficulties for people with AS is with social situations. Like having conversations or having a play date. I do not always act appropriately, because I am often unsure of the right way to behave. I want to learn to be more social. It is very hard for me to have conversations about things I am not interested in. It’s not that I don’t care about you, but I am much more comfortable talking about things that are meaningful to me. Please alert me if I am not being appropriate. Also, it is sometimes uncomfortable for me to look someone in the eye. It doesn’t mean I am not paying attention to you if I’m not looking straight at you.

I am very literal and many times it is hard for me to understand things that may have more than one meaning, like saying “He died laughing.” I may think you really meant someone died! It would be helpful to me if you could explain what you mean in another way if I seem not to understand you. Please do not tell me to do things that I shouldn’t because I cannot always tell whether it is the right thing to do. I assume you are being honest and helpful. If you tell me to lay on the floor, I may do it because I think you are telling me something important that I don’t know and I listen to you.

I am also very impulsive. That means I may move around a lot and can blurt things out. I often do not have enough control to filter the things I say, or I can be very direct. I would never intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I say something that seems hurtful please explain that to me. If I say something like “I didn’t imagine your house to be small,” all I mean is that in my head I pictured your house to be bigger. I don’t really care the size of anyone’s house.

Sometimes I react to a situation more strongly than you may. Sometimes I get more upset than I should. I know I should be able to control myself more, but sometimes I just can’t.

I’m also forgetful. My mind moves very quickly and sometimes I can’t keep up with it. Sometimes I get lost in my own world and a friendly touch on the shoulder can bring me back.

I am very disorganized. Things like keeping my papers orderly or remembering to hand in homework come easily to most of you. For me it is hard. If you notice I have forgotten something, please tell me.

My brain is not wired like yours so I don’t process information like you do. Because of that, I know that sometimes I may seem different than you. Please know that I still have feelings. I am telling you this because I want to be accepted and included but can sometimes use some help. I am hoping you will not tease me or make fun of me for being different but rather help me to learn to be more social. I want very much to have friends, but don’t always know how to go about that. I have to work very hard to try to fit in.

I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I am not sad that I have Asperger’s. We are all different from one another. I do have some challenges, but I have some great strengths too. I have a really good memory and I’m very creative.
They say Bill Gates has it and Albert Einstein had it, and Marshall Mathers also known as Eminem may have it, so I am in good company. Hopefully one day I can do something that will also change the world.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me. I hope we can be friends.

A COVID Passover Remembrance

A decade ago, I made this short video with clips of the the year that just passed. It’s hard for me to watch without a touch of melancholy, but I know that’s as it should be.

I strive to be always grateful for what has come before, not place great expectations on the future and greet the sunrise with a smile. I wish you all the same.


Happy Passover all. May you find your way across the Red Seas that exist in your world and have peace in your hearts today.

Jack’s One Small Step

In the musical The Secret Garden, a small wheelchair bound boy named Colin Craven believes he will never grow old. He has been told all his life, not always unkindly, that he is crippled, weak and very ill. He has learned to hate fresh air and being outdoors. He is a miserable child bent on making all around him miserable as well.

All this changes with the arrival to his world of a precocious and strong willed girl named Mary Lenox. She breaks through Colin’s angry exterior and becomes his friend. Instead of kowtowing to his blustery demands or running from his violent tantrums, she stands up to him and treats him as an equal. She does not burden him with sympathy, but instead encourages him to join her outside in a secret garden.
There, among the grass and flowers and trusted companions, Colin slowly is transformed. In one powerful scene, he pushes himself out of his wheelchair and walks his first few tentative steps. The imaginary ailments that had plagued him, slowly melt away as he gains confidence with each small step.

Last night, when my son Jack sang his first note as Colin in the song “One small step,” my wife Susan began to cry. It wasn’t because the note was pure, which it was. It wasn’t because she was proud of him, which she was. It was for her boy’s one small step. It seemed to be his own declaration that there are no limits on him. There will be no restraints on his abilities or what he will grow to do. The note, the step, the boy, the scene – all powerful, all wonderful.

With the encouragement of his friends, “Don’t be afraid to fall, everybody does,” and with the will to do for himself and choose his own destiny, Colin is reborn. He has gone from a bitter, handicapped, lonely dying child to a boy whose spirit is set free. He defiantly declares, “I shall get well and I will live forever and ever and ever!” The previous locked door to his secret garden is now open wide.

In many ways, we are all Colin Craven. Certainly, Colin and Jack and I will stumble and fall. We will have obstacles placed in our way by others and ourselves. We will lash out unkindly at innocent well meaning people. However, if we find supportive friends, risk a fall to run, resolve to go forward not back — even one small step at a time, our futures are open to anything.

Jack’s Aspergers can be his wheelchair or it can not. Our fear of failure can hold us back or it can not. We can surround ourselves with shallow selfish people or we can not. We can choose to live a stale bleak existence or we can choose to turn our faces to the sunshine. The garden is not a secret, it is just one that we may choose not to unlock.

Jack’s journey into his garden is happening. Last night was one small, but treasured, step.