Category: Life & Other Concepts

Jack’s Asperger’s Talk

I couldn’t be more proud of my 11 year old son Jack. He addressed his class today and explained to them that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. He hopes that he will be more accepted and they will understand him better with this talk. He is a very brave boy. He does say “sixth grade” at the start and he meant “second grade” but he did awesome. I love him very much.

Here is what he said:
Hi. I’m Jack Lebersfeld. I have been in school with most of you since the 2nd grade. I am, for the most part just like you, but in some ways I am different. I have Asperger’s syndrome, also known as autism spectrum disorder or AS for short. AS is not a disease. You can’t catch it. It is not something that can be cured. It is a condition that I have and will always have. It means my brain is a little different than yours. I see the world in a slightly different way than you do. This difference has given me some great strengths, but also some big challenges. There are many characteristics of AS and I am going to share with you some of mine. I am doing this today so that I may become more understandable to you and maybe you can be more understandable to me.

The most common difficulties for people with AS is with social situations. Like having conversations or having a play date. I do not always act appropriately, because I am often unsure of the right way to behave. I want to learn to be more social. It is very hard for me to have conversations about things I am not interested in. It’s not that I don’t care about you, but I am much more comfortable talking about things that are meaningful to me. Please alert me if I am not being appropriate. Also, it is sometimes uncomfortable for me to look someone in the eye. It doesn’t mean I am not paying attention to you if I’m not looking straight at you.

I am very literal and many times it is hard for me to understand things that may have more than one meaning, like saying “He died laughing.” I may think you really meant someone died! It would be helpful to me if you could explain what you mean in another way if I seem not to understand you. Please do not tell me to do things that I shouldn’t because I cannot always tell whether it is the right thing to do. I assume you are being honest and helpful. If you tell me to lay on the floor, I may do it because I think you are telling me something important that I don’t know and I listen to you.

I am also very impulsive. That means I may move around a lot and can blurt things out. I often do not have enough control to filter the things I say, or I can be very direct. I would never intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I say something that seems hurtful please explain that to me. If I say something like “I didn’t imagine your house to be small,” all I mean is that in my head I pictured your house to be bigger. I don’t really care the size of anyone’s house.

Sometimes I react to a situation more strongly than you may. Sometimes I get more upset than I should. I know I should be able to control myself more, but sometimes I just can’t.

I’m also forgetful. My mind moves very quickly and sometimes I can’t keep up with it. Sometimes I get lost in my own world and a friendly touch on the shoulder can bring me back.

I am very disorganized. Things like keeping my papers orderly or remembering to hand in homework come easily to most of you. For me it is hard. If you notice I have forgotten something, please tell me.

My brain is not wired like yours so I don’t process information like you do. Because of that, I know that sometimes I may seem different than you. Please know that I still have feelings. I am telling you this because I want to be accepted and included but can sometimes use some help. I am hoping you will not tease me or make fun of me for being different but rather help me to learn to be more social. I want very much to have friends, but don’t always know how to go about that. I have to work very hard to try to fit in.

I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I am not sad that I have Asperger’s. We are all different from one another. I do have some challenges, but I have some great strengths too. I have a really good memory and I’m very creative.
They say Bill Gates has it and Albert Einstein had it, and Marshall Mathers also known as Eminem may have it, so I am in good company. Hopefully one day I can do something that will also change the world.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me. I hope we can be friends.

Mistakes Happen

Mistakes Happen - My column from The Capitol Newsletter:</p><br /> <p>FROM THE EDITOR<br /><br /> “But what if I make a mistake?” Will asked.<br /><br /> Gilan threw back his head and laughed. “A mistake? One mistake? You should be so lucky. You'll make dozens! I made four or five on my first day alone! Of course you'll make mistakes. Just don't make any of them twice. If you do mess things up, don't try to hide it. Don't try to rationalize it. Recognize it and admit it and learn from it. We never stop learning, none of us.”<br /><br /> ― John Flanagan, Erak's Ransom</p><br /> <p>Howdy. I certainly make my share of mistakes. I sometimes feel I make a lot more than my share, but I always try to learn from them. For example, last month I made a good one. It happened at the gym in the morning after playing racquetball. I had showered and was just about done toweling off. The guy next to me steps out of his stall and says to me pretty unhappily, “hey, you just used my towel.” I had inadvertently taken his towel from the hook besides mine. What could I do? I couldn’t give it back. I apologized sincerely and offered my unused towel to him. He begrudgedly took it as his choices to dry off were extremely limited. I felt terribly as it was obviously a very uncomfortable action for him to take. Even though it was a very clean towel, this guy didn’t know me or trust me and towels are a bit… intimate. Oh well, what could I do? Well, I couldn’t do anything more than I did, but going forward I won’t make that same mistake again. I now put my locker key on top of the towel and pay more attention to my actions.<br /><br /> We all goof up, we all put our feet in our mouth and do things we wish we could fly around the Earth backward and undo. But that’s part of life and such an important part of our growth. The goal in life and business is not to not make mistakes, it’s to learn from them and grow from them. Most mistakes we make in business come from experimenting, trying something different and stretching our limits. We fail all the time, but what is the alternative? Playing it safe? Never risk? Do what we always do? That is the surest way to never grow and never to achieve great results.<br /><br /> I look forward to a great summer here at Capitol Lighting. I’m excited for our renewed emphasis on our outreach to our Pro’s and prospecting. We’ll have some great new marketing offering and talking points to engage these exceptionally important clients and show them the love. I’m sure we’ll make some mistakes along the way, but the results will be worth it.<br /><br /> Have a terrific month of July. Stay cool all.<br /><br /> -E
Mistakes Happen – My column from The Capitol Newsletter:FROM THE EDITOR
“But what if I make a mistake?” Will asked.
Gilan threw back his head and laughed. “A mistake? One mistake? You should be so lucky. You’ll make dozens! I made four or five on my first day alone! Of course you’ll make mistakes. Just don’t make any of them twice. If you do mess things up, don’t try to hide it. Don’t try to rationalize it. Recognize it and admit it and learn from it. We never stop learning, none of us.”
― John Flanagan, Erak’s Ransom
Howdy.  I certainly make my share of mistakes. I sometimes feel I make a lot more than my share, but I always try to learn from them. For example, last month I made a good one. It happened at the gym in the morning after playing racquetball. I had showered and was just about done toweling off. The guy next to me steps out of his stall and says to me pretty unhappily, “hey, you just used my towel.” I had inadvertently taken his towel from the hook besides mine. What could I do? I couldn’t give it back. I apologized sincerely and offered my unused towel to him. He begrudgedly took it as his choices to dry off were extremely limited. I felt terribly as it was obviously a very uncomfortable action for him to take. Even though it was a very clean towel, this guy didn’t know me or trust me and towels are a bit… intimate. Oh well, what could I do? Well, I couldn’t do anything more than I did, but going forward I won’t make that same mistake again. I now put my locker key on top of the towel and pay more attention to my actions.
We all goof up, we all put our feet in our mouth and do things we wish we could fly around the Earth backward and undo. But that’s part of life and such an important part of our growth. The goal in life and business is not to not make mistakes, it’s to learn from them and grow from them. Most mistakes we make in business come from experimenting, trying something different and stretching our limits. We fail all the time, but what is the alternative? Playing it safe? Never risk? Do what we always do? That is the surest way to never grow and never to achieve great results.
I look forward to a great summer here at Capitol Lighting. I’m excited for our renewed emphasis on our outreach to our Pro’s and prospecting. We’ll have some great new marketing offering and talking points to engage these exceptionally important clients and show them the love. I’m sure we’ll make some mistakes along the way, but the results will be worth it.
Have a terrific month of July. Stay cool all.
-E

Life Moves Pretty Fast…

My Column from Capitol's Newsletter:<br /> From the Editor<br /> Ferris said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” As anyone who has had a birthday or other annual event lately can attest, the Earth is definitely spinning faster and faster and the years are whizzing by. The possibility of “missing it” doesn’t seem like such a joke.<br /> A few months ago, my wife Susan and I attended an evening conference led by a life coach and business consultant. One of the exercises he had all the couples in the room do was to make a free form chart of all the things you wanted to accomplish in your life. He asked us to suspend dour thoughts of affordability, practicality or likelihood and to just free your mind and to put down a wish list of your deepest desires and aspirations. He purposely separated all husbands and wives, so you couldn’t “cheat” and see what your spouse was putting down. My list was quite extensive. Among the many improbable things I put down was flying like a bird, going to another star system, and living forever in a cyberworld where I could merge and split into thousands of different existences. I also put down some more attainable dreams, like waking up each morning to see the sun rising out of the ocean, going on safari, building a great big company, and even more close to home, I envisioned my home having two dogs. Susan’s chart had a lot of differences from mine. For example, she does not wish to soar on the thermals or travel to other parts of the galaxy. She wants to see the sunrise from the mountains, not the beach. However, one thing she did put down was that she wanted a second dog. It was funny since we had never discussed it. I did not have two dogs growing up and neither did she. Well, as of last week, we have fulfilled that part of our plan. A new being has joined our family. We added an incredibly sweet and gentle apricot labradoodle named Reggie to our pack. He’s a terrific being and is adapting very nicely. Our 1st dog, Charlie, and he are already pals and the kids love him too.<br /> I hope that being on the bus with us at Capitol Lighting will be a vehicle for you to reach your goals, both personal and professional. I encourage you all to take the time to put down some life objectives. Some will be way out there and may not ever be realized, but some may be simple to achieve and can be done right away. Take the time with your manager to discuss your plans and how we can work together to attain them. Don’t live your life like you have another one in the bank. Live it fully and take big bites. Maybe getting a second dog is not that big of a bite, but it was on my plan and achieving a goal, even a small one, feels pretty good.<br /> Peace to you all and have a great month of August!<br /> -Eric
My Column from Capitol’s Newsletter:
From the Editor
Ferris said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” As anyone who has had a birthday or other annual event lately can attest, the Earth is definitely spinning faster and faster and the years are whizzing by. The possibility of “missing it” doesn’t seem like such a joke.
A few months ago, my wife Susan and I attended an evening conference led by a life coach and business consultant. One of the exercises he had all the couples in the room do was to make a free form chart of all the things you wanted to accomplish in your life. He asked us to suspend dour thoughts of affordability, practicality or likelihood and to just free your mind and to put down a wish list of your deepest desires and aspirations. He purposely separated all husbands and wives, so you couldn’t “cheat” and see what your spouse was putting down. My list was quite extensive. Among the many improbable things I put down was flying like a bird, going to another star system, and living forever in a cyberworld where I could merge and split into thousands of different existences. I also put down some more attainable dreams, like waking up each morning to see the sun rising out of the ocean, going on safari, building a great big company, and even more close to home, I envisioned my home having two dogs. Susan’s chart had a lot of differences from mine. For example, she does not wish to soar on the thermals or travel to other parts of the galaxy. She wants to see the sunrise from the mountains, not the beach. However, one thing she did put down was that she wanted a second dog. It was funny since we had never discussed it. I did not have two dogs growing up and neither did she. Well, as of last week, we have fulfilled that part of our plan. A new being has joined our family. We added an incredibly sweet and gentle apricot labradoodle named Reggie to our pack. He’s a terrific being and is adapting very nicely. Our 1st dog, Charlie, and he are already pals and the kids love him too.
I hope that being on the bus with us at Capitol Lighting will be a vehicle for you to reach your goals, both personal and professional. I encourage you all to take the time to put down some life objectives. Some will be way out there and may not ever be realized, but some may be simple to achieve and can be done right away. Take the time with your manager to discuss your plans and how we can work together to attain them. Don’t live your life like you have another one in the bank. Live it fully and take big bites. Maybe getting a second dog is not that big of a bite, but it was on my plan and achieving a goal, even a small one, feels pretty good.
Peace to you all and have a great month of August!

Words to My Son at his Bar Mitzvah

Jack. On this day, I want to say only a couple of words. Really only two. Those words are “Thank you.”
Ok, I’ll say just a few more even though I know you’re probably thinking, Oh God, How long is this going to take.
Now while, I think this is probably the right place to ask God a question, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed with the answer. I’ll only take a minute.
I want to tell you “thank you” for being born.
Thank you for taking your first steps.
Thank you saying your first words, which if I remember correctly, you told a joke.
Thank you for being such a loving soul to me and your mom and your sister and the rest of your family.
I want to thank you for just being you.
You don’t have to do one more thing in your life to make me love you anymore than I love you right now which is exactly the same amount I loved you the day you were born.
Now while I’m exceptionally proud of your accomplishments and continue to marvel at some of the things you can do when you put your incredible mind to it,
my love for you is unwavering and absolute. 

Thank you Jack for being my son.
.Image

Self Evident

Cloud Sunrise

On a few of my first trips to see the sunrise, I was a little disappointed. I had it in my head that the morning display would always be this big perfect circle of thermonuclear fire rising majestically from the cool blue sea.  However, I have learned that quite often, it’s not like that at all.

Frequently, clouds and mist obscure the horizon.  I know the exact time of the sunrise since Siri tells me.  Although I don’t doubt her accuracy, minutes after that time has passed, there is no sun to be seen.  Instead, all you’ll see is an almost begrudging purpling, then graying, then an amber pinkening.

As you listen to the waves consistently inconsistent percussion of the Earth’s heartbeat, you may be fortunate to see a cumulus cloud’s sharp outline glowing brightly like the yellow almost white hot edge of a dead leaf alighting its silhouette in a bonfire.  The sun is there, but we can’t see it.  We see evidence of it, but it is not quite… self evident.

So much of what we strive for – love, joy, recognition, affection, acceptance, success, peace, satisfaction, friendship, validation, strength, wisdom, excitement, adventure, contentment, health, creativity… is there for us. The clues are all around, but they are obscured by the clouds of our own making.

We say sun “rise,” but it’s really us riding atop the Earth spinning down toward the relatively stationary sun. So too must we spin our minds to see our larger truths.  The hazy mist of confusion, the drenching rain of despair, the suffocating darkness of loneliness, the thick clouds of doubt – there are a thousand obstacles that float in our way, but our truths are there.  The goal is to make them obvious… to you.   It may not be swift or easy, yet that should not be a deterrent.  Frequently, the rewards we receive with no great effort are valued very little in the end.  Contrarily, the most satisfying goals achieved are the ones that required the most work.

Over these early mornings, I have learned lessons of patience.  Lessons of appreciating subtle change.  Lessons of valuing what is there, rather than lamenting what is not.  The clouds have taught me that in addition to Jefferson’s self evident truths of the equality of all people and our unalienable rights of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” there are so many more relative truths out there waiting for me to become aware of them.

I went to the beach to seek the sun, but have also become so very thankful for the clouds.

Hunger Games

Yom-Kippur-Fasting-3I’m often selfish, impatient, callous, dense, unappreciative, clumsy, lazy, short sighted, narcissistic, narrow minded and incurious.
However, forgiveness is a gift I give to myself as I strive to fail forward and do better next time.
Forgiveness is the antidote to the poison of tightly held anger.
It moves one past the futility of self flagellation.
It allows focus on acceptance as opposed to the unhappy path of judgement.
Forgiveness, atonement, self reflection, denial.
Yom Kippur is a powerful day, but it will not be the only day I ask the many whom I have wronged by my mistakes to forgive me and, ideally, it is only one of 365 where I will ask myself.
And… I could really go for a huge slice of pizza right about now.

Our Half Time Show

Our Half Time Show.
Dear Lovey, It’s just another day on the calendar, but a momentous one for us because it’s a milestone birthday for you and also because we get our kids back. We had almost six weeks alone while they were at sleep away camp.
You say that letting the kids go to camp is the most selfless thing you have ever done. I believe that. The first couple of weeks after they’re gone are the hardest. Being a mother is how you define yourself. “Mother’s Day” is the only holiday I get in trouble for if I forget. Sure, your profession is that of a head hunter, your part time job is that of a spin instructor, but your “real job” is that of a mom.
The separation from the kids isn’t as hard on me as it is on you. I, of course, miss them terribly, but I do like getting you back all to myself for a while. It was nice to be #1 again. This little break with the kids away was like a good half time show during our game of life. We got the chance to relax together. We went out most nights to a lot of happy hours and watched a bunch of movies.
We held hands as we walked “almost” lazily after dinner. We didn’t rush or stress as much as the only schedules we had to manage were our own.
It was a little glimpse into the future maybe. I know the years will fly by. Hannah and Jack will find their way and our nest may be a little emptier.
I certainly don’t wish the earth to spin any quicker. I cherish my short time here and I try to “drag my feet” as my father always tells me to do so I appreciate the events that happening around me. But, it was nice to have this alone time with my best friend. My beautiful, complex, funny, athletic, driven, passionate, challenging, clever, loving, determined and most excellent wife. We are not perfect, but you are perfect for me.
Today is your birthday. You get your kids back today. It’s Bastille Day. I know I’m going back to being #1-C today, but I also can’t wait to have our family back. This is where we are supposed to be right now.
Happy Birthday my love. If this is what 50 looks like, there is no doubt we’ll be making it to 100. So maybe this is our half time show. The second half of the game is usually better and more exciting and ultimately more satisfying. Let’s get back on the field together and get back to the work we love. The kids are waiting, I love you madly.
.Imager

Which Way to Go…

Which Way to Go...</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Each day starts with light overtaking the dark with infinite possibility.</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Will it be a joyous one filled with love and laughter, or...?</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Will it be a happy one filled with friends and family, or...?</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Will it be a peaceful one filled with teamwork and success, or...?</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Each day is unwritten at the start and open to the anything.<br /><br /><br /><br /> The days skip by like a flat stone on quiet lake.<br /><br /><br /><br /> We wish for you to make every skip joyous, happy and peaceful.</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Merry New Year.</p><br /><br /><br /> <p>Susan, Eric, Jack, Hannah, Charlie and Reggie Lebersfeld </p><br /><br /><br /> <p>(This our holiday card, so look for the whole family)
Which Way to Go…Each day starts with light overtaking the dark with infinite possibility.Will it be a joyous one filled with love and laughter, or…?Will it be a happy one filled with friends and family, or…?Will it be a peaceful one filled with teamwork and success, or…?

Each day is unwritten at the start and open to the anything.
The days skip by like a flat stone on quiet lake.
We wish for you to make every skip joyous, happy and peaceful.

Merry New Year.